Lexicon of Lameness

Following is a list of words and acronyms that are now emotionally charged in my mind.

  • I/O: This used to stand for “input and output,” which was the various ways a computer communicates with the world (network, keyboard, video, etc.). Now it’s the abbreviation that testicular cancer survivors use to refer to an inguinal orchiectomy. They even use the slash! So a neat computer term now refers to getting one’s ball cut off.
  • AFP: Formerly the Apple Filing Protocol, the equivalent of Windows SMB/CIFS. Also Agence France-Presse, the French version of the Associated Press. Now refers to Alpha-fetoprotein, anticipation of whose test results scare the crap out of me on a weekly or monthly basis.
  • Einhorn: Used to evoke Lois Einhorn from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Now it refers to one of the heroes in the TC community, Lawrence Einhorn, who developed BEP chemotherapy.
  • HDC: The hDC is, in Hungarian notation, a handle to the device context in the Win32 API. If you ever draw something in a Windows program, there’s an hDC or its equivalent somewhere in your code. Now it’s the abbreviation for “high-dose chemotherapy,” which is what I might eventually face if my current chemo fails (which it won’t).
  • PET: Used to be the Commodore PET, which I passed over to get my 48K Apple ][ in 1980. Now it’s a PET scan.
  • VIP: The kind of treatment that expensive credit cards promise. Now an alternative to the BEP chemotherapy I’m undergoing.
  • Recurrence, recur, relapse, relapsed: Neutral words that now make my heart skip a beat when I hear them.
  • Semolina pasta: Looks way too much like seminoma, a kind of testicular cancer (the easier kind, which is not the kind I have).

Lawrence Einhorn

3 responses to “Lexicon of Lameness

  1. Martha and John

    John: Vocabulary is the language of life.

  2. I like this post. I also work with an Einhorn. I’ll ask if he’s related.

    A (computing, apparently) term I learned recently that I’ve found applies all too well to my life is GIGO (Garbage in, Garbage Out), in relation to human communication problems.

  3. OMG. Thank you for the great lexicon. I’m saving it because there is no doubt that everything on the list will soon be used by Will Shortz, the New York Times Crossword Puzzlemaster. Hang in there, hon.